Working for a little Christmas stress relief

You may have heard me talk about my new goal for this holiday season. Actually I have a couple and they both came from interviews I’ve done with some fabulous ladies. The one I’m sharing here has to do with shopping for Christmas presents and it was inspired by my October 10th Heart Filled Holidays radio show where I interviewed Lane Jordan about her forthcoming book 12 Steps to a More Organized Christmas and Holiday Season. During the interview Lane said that she tries to get all of her Christmas chores done before Thanksgiving, leaving more time in the month of December to do meaningful activities.

That idea struck me like a bolt of lightning! I’ve done all sorts of things to make my holidays into times I enjoy but I also know that during the month of December I see ads for fun programs or interesting events which I don’t attend because I already have a full calendar and to-do list. It’s been a good choice for me not to attend those things because it kept me from getting overwhelmed, but I really want to go! (whine, moan snivel)

So when I heard Lane talk about that idea I made a decision to finish all of my Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. My theory is that if my shopping is done then I will have more room in my life and I can toss in a few fun, last-minute opportunities. That’s my commitment to myself and you guys can hold my feet to the fire on this one. Feel free to ask how it’s going. And while we’re at it, how about making a commitment to yourself? What is one thing you are willing to do now to give yourself a better holiday in a few weeks? Pop it up on the comments and share your inspiration.

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But will you eat the candy?

You guys know I’m an advocate of planning ahead and taking care of things when a quick and easy opportunity to do so arises. So when I went into Walgreen’s yesterday morning you would think that I would have bought my Halloween candy. (Yes, they have Halloween candy out already and so do other stores.)

There were the displays, just sitting there waiting for me to take this little chore off my to do list, not that it was even on my list yet. I could buy the candy now, tuck it away and have that all done. But if I buy it now I’ll eat it long before Halloween arrives. Then I’ll have to go out and buy it again and I’ll have eaten a ton of junk.

So, in my house, when it comes to Halloween candy the smart move is to procrastinate. And I’ll tell you this, sometimes I recommend that you procrastinate too. If buying Christmas presents now means you’ll buy more later and end up spending more than you can afford … procrastinate. If baking early means you’ll eat the cookies and have to bake again … procrastinate. If buying the dress now means you’ll make yourself miserable dieting and then still have to squeeze into something too small … procrastinate. Be smart, procrastinate when it’s in your best interest to do so.

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Simple tips to make this holiday season better – without thinking about the holidays!

Big holidays are coming! I was tweaking this week’s Heart Filled Holidays Tip Sheet and wrote in Halloween as the next big holiday. Personally I’m just not ready for to deal with Halloween and Thanksgiving yet. And we all know that the day after Thanksgiving starts the mad rush to Christmas but we won’t even go there yet.

Well, if you aren’t ready to start thinking about those holidays but you want to make this holiday season better what can you do? It’s simple, make today better; get a grip on your finances, clear out the clutter, create some systems, set up your calendar, make a menu plan, organize a car-pool. Anything that makes your life run smoother day-to-day will make your holidays better because it takes out a little bit of stress.

On the 8-22-11 Heart Filled Holidays radio show we talked about simplicity and Beth Bracaglia of Simply Organized shared Top Ten Tips to Simplify Your Life. They were all great and implementing just one will make things run smoother every day. And all that ease will carry over into the holidays, taking away some of the clutter and chaos that can get in the way of a happy holiday season. You can listen to the podcast on my Heart Filled Holidays Toginet page or grab it off iTunes.

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What about today?

When it comes to enjoying our holidays and special celebrations we can all come up with a nice long laundry list of things we want our family members to do, or not do, that we think will make things better. You want your family to…

• Help you more with holiday preparations
• Get along on the holidays
• Show gratitude for special days & gifts received

And so much more.

It’s wonderful to know what you want. But my question to you is this: “What are you doing about it today?”  What are you asking of them? What are you modeling for them? What are you practicing today that will carry over into your holidays?

What happens during our busy times and our special times is often just an exaggerated picture of our everyday life. Any challenges we experience, any areas that are difficult for us, relationships that are strained, or finances that aren’t well-tended will suddenly feel overwhelming and out of control.

Think about it, if you struggle with something when life is simple and constant doesn’t it make sense that you might have serious trouble with it when life is busy or unpredictable?

The good news is that there are a couple of things you can do about it once you recognize it. You can “lay your cards on the table” up front, tell your family that you know this special time is coming up and things may be a little different or busy for a while. Then tell them exactly what you want from them and ask for their help.

The other thing you can do is to work on those issues in your everyday life. Take the time to discover the root cause and then either come to peace with it and decide that this is okay or do something about it. When you have learned the skills for budgeting your money, communicating with your spouse, or managing your priorities and your time on an everyday basis then you’ll have the skills you need when holidays roll around.

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Getting it done with index cards

I’ve been playing with a new tool to help me plan and track my repetitive tasks. With the recent changes I’ve made at Heart Filled Holidays I have a series of things that happen week after week. I tried making lists, putting them in Astrid on my Droid, and adding them to Outlook. Nothing was working well so I went into exploration mode.

The thing I found that is working great is good old-fashioned index cards. I broke down big tasks into a couple smaller chunks and then wrote each task on its own card. Now I can quickly sift through the cards and choose the things I will do that day. As each task is done I move it into the ‘finished’ pile. And at the end of every day, planning the next day’s to-do list is simply a matter of pulling out the cards I want to work on and jotting down the few miscellaneous items that aren’t on cards.

It’s working so well right now that I’m going to try it for the repetitive chores around the house. I can leave the stack in a ‘to-do’ pile in the kitchen and, as people complete a chore, they can move it to the ‘finished’ pile. I’m guessing that watching the pile dwindle will encourage everyone (plus if we finish the pile during the week then there aren’t any chores on Saturday!)

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‘Twas the Week Before Christmas

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house reigned stress, frustration and total chaos….

Christmas is only one week away and everything is building including excitement and stress. So, to help you not only get through this week but also enjoy it, I’m going to ramp things up a bit. I’ll be putting more info on Twitter and Facebook AND I’ll be adding daily blog posts.

For today, the first thing I want you to do is take a deep breath and just know that all is well. You are fine and the important things will get done.

Now, if you’re ready for a few quick ideas and suggestions, listen in on this Girlfriendology radio show. Debba Haupert interviewed me on everything Christmas – from stress to fun – and you can get some inspiration and simple tips to make this a great holiday. Go to http:/blogtalkradio.com/girlfriendology

Now be sure to get your friends hooked up with heart filled holidays. Tell them to go to the website ( http://heartfilledholidays.com ) where they can get my special stress reduction tips before they visit the blog and connect on Facebook so they can have a fabulous holiday too!

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Holiday Planning (Sheila Hawkins)

A Guest Blog Post by ‘The Do It In Time Diva’  Sheila Hawkins

For some, managing time can be difficult in itself. When you add to that the rush and the chaos of the holiday season and you can have a seemingly impossible situation on your hands. We’re approaching the time of year when we all have so much to do with so many things added to our already busy schedule. As always, planning is a key element so when planning for the holiday season it’s important that we remember to manage our time just as we do during the “off-season”. Without it, the rush and the chaos take over and we have a stressful season instead of an enjoyable one.

For those who use a to-do list, continue to make and use your list. For those who don’t now might be a good time to begin using one. Include all of your holiday “to-dos” on your regular list. It’s important to distinguish between the things that you have to do and those that you want to do. There’s a difference. There may be some things that you are able to delegate. Doing so will free you up to tackle other things. You might want to consider making your holiday decorating or baking a group activity by inviting friends and family over to help. Planning what you’re going to do and getting started early gives you more time to get things like your holiday shopping and decorating done without getting caught up in the hustle and bustle that most people experience during the holiday season.

Included in the extra things to do with this festive season, are numerous parties, holiday baking, and sending holiday greetings just to name a few. These are all among the items on the list of things that we want to do. Before you commit to all of the parties that you usually attend and baking all of those cookies and pies, look at the list of things that you have to do and decide which festivities you will attend and just how much baking you will do if any.

Before you send out holiday greetings, ask yourself if you really need to send to everyone on the list. Update your list every year to keep it lean. If you decide that you do need to send to a large number of people, you might want to consider having your holiday cards printed so you just have to sign and label them. Whether you’re going to print or do them by hand, look at your list early enough to make changes and if you’re going to print cards to send, choose your cards and get your order in early so that you have plenty of time to sign, address and send.

Whatever you choose to do this holiday season, choose wisely and be conscious about overloading your calendar. Make your plans and be sure to allow enough time for the things that you’re choosing to do. If there are things that you enjoy doing, then by all means, add them to your to-do list or calendar. If not, give yourself some additional time to do those things you really enjoy by cutting out the things that you don’t enjoy so much.

As you’re adding things to your list and your calendar, remember to add blocks of time where you are relaxing just as you would do “off season”. You have to give yourself some down time during this fast-paced season. Once the holidays are over, take some time to plan for next year by purchasing gift wrap and decorations at those great discounts, and updating that holiday card list so that you’re ready for next year.

One additional thing to remember…planning ahead and getting an early start never hurt anybody. You don’t have to wait until everyone else is buzzing about preparing for the holidays to get started. Plan your work, and work your plan.

©2010 Sheila Hawkins

Sheila Hawkins is President and CEO of Third Eye Group based in Detroit, Michigan. The company provides customized professional organizing and productivity services for individuals, businesses, non-profit, faith and community based clientele, transforming environments and initiatives. Services are tailored to the needs and personality of the client helping them transform environments and behaviors to create order and peace in their lives.

Services include home and office organizing, time management, productivity training and coaching, event planning and project management. Additionally, the company provides workshops for individuals, business owners and company work teams. Learn more about Third Eye Group by visiting www.thirdeyegroup.org or contact them via email at info@thirdeyegrup.org.

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School and Schedules and Christmas Oh My!

As I was adding all of the kids scheduled activities to my calendar this morning I was shocked by how much is going on in their lives. And when you add to that my husband going to work part-time and my commitment to doing live events throughout the holiday season, things are looking mighty busy.

Deep Breathe . . .

Okay, not a problem. I can do this. All it takes is a little planning and I’m good at that (keep reminding myself of this for the foreseeable future).

But wait . . . Christmas is right around the corner and I don’t see a lot of room on the calendar in November and December for all the things we love to do.

Last year was pretty tight and we ended up dumping a few activities and skipping a couple of events we would have liked to attend, but there just wasn’t enough time to do it all. The busyness of December caught us off guard being the first year the girls were in the local schools. After so many years of homeschooling and having total flexibility it was a bit of a shock.

I told myself that I was prepared for this year because we’d been through it once. But it was still a shock to see how much is on the calendar.

Well, I’ve had a recurring theme in my life lately. I keep seeing information and quotes that lead me to the thought, “Take your own advice”. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do, I’m going to take my own advice and this is what I pledge in front of God and you.

This year I will approach the holidays differently. I will think about them right now, not in a planning way or a “how can I squeeze it all in and what do I need to dump” kind of way. Rather, I’m going to think about what I really want, why I’m doing each activity, whether or not it contributes to the season and how it contributes. I’ll decide what I REALLY want and talk to my family about it now.

That’s my commitment to myself and my family. I’m taking the holiday plunge right now so we can all enjoy our holiday season in a way that works in our world (and so that I still get to bake and eat all the home-made Christmas cookies :) Are you ready to join me?

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Let the yellow shirt go!

The dryer quit working just when it was time to scale mount laundry which means that while I wait for my husband to fix the dryer or take the clothes to a laundromat I am forced to wear those remaining clothes in my closet. You know the ones I’m talking about, the things you don’t really like to wear but won’t get rid of because you feel you should wear them. You must get your money’s worth, or someone special gave it to you, or you just know it should work even though it doesn’t.

If you’ve seen my picture you know I’m pretty fair-skinned and, well, yellow just isn’t my best color. Periodically I find something in a wonderful butter yellow that I can get away with, but it’s just not my color. Well, one day I was skimming a catalog and I saw some cute t-shirts at a great clearance price. Of course, that means the color selection is limited so I grabbed one in a wonderful shade of green and I settled for one in a bright yellow.When it arrived I knew, without even trying it on, that this was a disaster. Now I know it doesn’t look good on me, and I don’t feel good when I wear it, but there it is hanging in my closet.

We do the same thing with our traditions. Regardless of whether they are a good fit for us, we keep doing them because they are there and we feel we should. We run all over creation or we shop ourselves silly or we eat a lot of food we’d rather not just because it’s there. Someone we care about gave us this tradition and so we keep it. Regardless of our current circumstances, regardless of whether anyone enjoys or benefits from it, we keep it.

But what if you take out all of those traditions, try them on to see how they fit, then tailor the ones that aren’t a great fit and for the ones that don’t fit at all, you just let them go? What if you talked to those closest to you about what really matters to all of you and you tailored the old traditions or even created new ones that let you feel good and celebrate in a way that’s meaningful to you?

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